This morning was a tough workout to do. I didn't feel good in the water at all and have to fight to stay alive. Kurt was swimming next to me, and working it pretty hard, so that helped me. Here was the workout:
SCM Pool:
W/U
400 swim
200 kick
400 pull
6 X 100s - alternate IM with back per 100 on 1:40
Pull set:
9 X 150s - 3 on 2:15, 3 on 2:05, 3 on 1:55
150 C/D.
Total - 3,100 meters
The IMs were tough which was a sign of things to come. Kurt was working the fly and back. Normally I am slightly ahead of him at the fly and we turn even or close at back. This time around he was even at the fly and ahead at back. This forced me to work the breast and surprisingly my swims were strong. I was able to get ahead of him and extend on free. My times though weren't that great. My IMs were 1:28, 1:23, 1:19. My backs were around 1:25s I think. The water was hot like always and wavey, but I got a good workout it. I really struggled.
The pull set was also not clicking. On the first round of 3, I went 1:53 (realizing too fast), then 1:57, 1:58. For the second round on 2:05, I went 1:53 - 1:55 on them. The final round I went 1:47, 1:50, 1:51. I had nothing but was surprised I only did a 1:51 on the last one.
It was a tough workout, but I did leave feeling I worked it hard.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday 8/19/07 - Rollercoaster of Life
The world goes so fast some time. 7 years ago last week my father passed away. It was, by far, the worst day of my entire life. For 7 years now I have relived that night over and over in my end, most of the time resulting in me sobbing uncontrollably.
Peter Carl Kremers was 55 years old when he was diagnosed with cancer. A smoker since his early twenties, he had tried numerous times to quit. His parents smoked. His family smoked. His in-laws smoked. Everyone smoked. How does one quit when it is everwhere around him? Like everyone else, he thought he was invincible, so when the cancer appeared so early on in his life, it was a major blow. But like everything else in his life, he was confident he would beat it, or at least survive it.
After about 9 months, we were told he had Phase 4 (or 3?) of cancer. Viki Welling, one of my parents best friends was a nurse and knew what this meant. No one really defeats cancer at this point. But my father felt he could. But sadly, the cancer began to spread to his lungs and lymphnodes. He was confined to a wheelchair. My father was an outdoorsman. He loved hunting, golfing, swimming, camping, nature, etc. The list goes on and on. So to be confined to a wheelchair couldn't have helped his state of mind.
About a month later, things got so bad, he needed to go to the hospital in La Jolla. At first they had him sharing a room, but our family would have nothing to do with that. Within a few hours, my father had a private room in the corner of the hospital with a few of the golf course and water. I took a few days off from work and stayed with my mother. The second day he was there, the doctor took the three of us into a room (my brother as well) and said it was time to make a major decision. "Peter isn't getting any better. We need you to make a decision on how you want the hospital to react if he needs to go onto life support. Do you want us to keep him on it, or let him go?" This threw my mother into a crying hysteria. I wasn't much better but knew we had to make a decision. Of course I wanted him around as long as we could, but deep down I knew what the decision should be. We jointly decided no life support.
After we met with the doctor, my brother and I each went into his room seperately to talk with my father. As I sat down next to him, I held his hand, and probably for the first time since I was a child, told him I loved him. It wasn't that I didn't love him before now, but we just never vocally said that phrase. Maybe since prior to 4 years ago I was a closetted gay man, that I thought saying those words would have been suicide and it would have "outed" me for sure. He looked at me and told me how proud he was. "Really?", I said. "Of course Brian, you're my son." Deep down I didn't feel like I was a man yet. I had so much more to learn. I wasn't ready to let go of the man put here to teach me. I began to cry uncontrollably. He said he loved me too and we just sat there and smiled.
The following day, the doctors told us that there was nothing they could do anymore for him. We decided then it would be best for him to come home and enjoy his last days in the house he purchased with his success in life with the friends and family he loves. We set up hospice and my brother and I along with my mother and sister-in-law set up shifts to monitor him. We never wanted him alone for even one second. The first few days on my watch I would sit with my father and watch his favorite movies or I would just listen to him snore as he slept.
On day 3, my watch was from the later evening to early morning, or something like that. At about 11pm, my father asked me to help him get up so he could go to the bathroom. After he was done, we went back to his bed, and I got him settled. About an hour later, his breathing began to worsen and worsen. I screamed for my mother and brother to come down. We all knew something was wrong. We were all hysterical, not knowing what to do.
"Breath Peter!!", my mother yelled. He looked at her, and took a long deep breath. Then his breathing stopped and we all knew what was about to come.
"Breath DAD!!", Mark (my brother) screamed. My father turned to him and took another long deep breath, and then stopped again.
"BREATH DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", I cried outloud. He looked right up at me and took his longest breath of them all.
And then he was gone. What a magnificent man. Even until the end, he showed us how much he loved all of us. He took one last breath for each of us.
My father was my idol. He had so many friends. Everyone had kind words to say about him. He was a success in life. A successful businessman. A wonderful husband. An incredible father. A trustworthy friend. He had many best friends he kept throughout his life. His brother since the day he was born, Jess. His college roommate Dana. His best friend from San Jose, Brent Welling. My father was the life of the parties. He loved to flirt with the girls and drink with the boys. When I came out as as gay man, instead of freaking out and banning me from their lives, he instead took me out to his favorite bar and bought me a beer. He asked, "Do you feel better now?" "Yes, I feel like a piano has been taken off of me", I answered. "Good", he said. Privately, he took longer to adjust to my lifestyle, but never once let me know.
I miss you dad. I miss you more than ever now. Although I should remember the good times more, I can't erase your final night on the earth from my memory. It will haunt me forever. I need my dad. I still have more to ask. More to learn. Do we ever learn enough? How do I fix the sink? How do repair the tile on the floor? I need you to teach me more of the "man" things a boy learns from his father. I will always think of you as I am mowing the lawn. It was you who showed me my first way to mow. The first one to tell me which outdoor chores needed to be done. You taught me to ride a bike. You taught me to pee in the toilet. I am who I am, because of you. And I can't and will never have the opportunity to thank you enough for all you have given me.
RIP Peter Kremers 1944 - 2000
I love you dad.
Peter Carl Kremers was 55 years old when he was diagnosed with cancer. A smoker since his early twenties, he had tried numerous times to quit. His parents smoked. His family smoked. His in-laws smoked. Everyone smoked. How does one quit when it is everwhere around him? Like everyone else, he thought he was invincible, so when the cancer appeared so early on in his life, it was a major blow. But like everything else in his life, he was confident he would beat it, or at least survive it.
After about 9 months, we were told he had Phase 4 (or 3?) of cancer. Viki Welling, one of my parents best friends was a nurse and knew what this meant. No one really defeats cancer at this point. But my father felt he could. But sadly, the cancer began to spread to his lungs and lymphnodes. He was confined to a wheelchair. My father was an outdoorsman. He loved hunting, golfing, swimming, camping, nature, etc. The list goes on and on. So to be confined to a wheelchair couldn't have helped his state of mind.
About a month later, things got so bad, he needed to go to the hospital in La Jolla. At first they had him sharing a room, but our family would have nothing to do with that. Within a few hours, my father had a private room in the corner of the hospital with a few of the golf course and water. I took a few days off from work and stayed with my mother. The second day he was there, the doctor took the three of us into a room (my brother as well) and said it was time to make a major decision. "Peter isn't getting any better. We need you to make a decision on how you want the hospital to react if he needs to go onto life support. Do you want us to keep him on it, or let him go?" This threw my mother into a crying hysteria. I wasn't much better but knew we had to make a decision. Of course I wanted him around as long as we could, but deep down I knew what the decision should be. We jointly decided no life support.
After we met with the doctor, my brother and I each went into his room seperately to talk with my father. As I sat down next to him, I held his hand, and probably for the first time since I was a child, told him I loved him. It wasn't that I didn't love him before now, but we just never vocally said that phrase. Maybe since prior to 4 years ago I was a closetted gay man, that I thought saying those words would have been suicide and it would have "outed" me for sure. He looked at me and told me how proud he was. "Really?", I said. "Of course Brian, you're my son." Deep down I didn't feel like I was a man yet. I had so much more to learn. I wasn't ready to let go of the man put here to teach me. I began to cry uncontrollably. He said he loved me too and we just sat there and smiled.
The following day, the doctors told us that there was nothing they could do anymore for him. We decided then it would be best for him to come home and enjoy his last days in the house he purchased with his success in life with the friends and family he loves. We set up hospice and my brother and I along with my mother and sister-in-law set up shifts to monitor him. We never wanted him alone for even one second. The first few days on my watch I would sit with my father and watch his favorite movies or I would just listen to him snore as he slept.
On day 3, my watch was from the later evening to early morning, or something like that. At about 11pm, my father asked me to help him get up so he could go to the bathroom. After he was done, we went back to his bed, and I got him settled. About an hour later, his breathing began to worsen and worsen. I screamed for my mother and brother to come down. We all knew something was wrong. We were all hysterical, not knowing what to do.
"Breath Peter!!", my mother yelled. He looked at her, and took a long deep breath. Then his breathing stopped and we all knew what was about to come.
"Breath DAD!!", Mark (my brother) screamed. My father turned to him and took another long deep breath, and then stopped again.
"BREATH DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", I cried outloud. He looked right up at me and took his longest breath of them all.
And then he was gone. What a magnificent man. Even until the end, he showed us how much he loved all of us. He took one last breath for each of us.
My father was my idol. He had so many friends. Everyone had kind words to say about him. He was a success in life. A successful businessman. A wonderful husband. An incredible father. A trustworthy friend. He had many best friends he kept throughout his life. His brother since the day he was born, Jess. His college roommate Dana. His best friend from San Jose, Brent Welling. My father was the life of the parties. He loved to flirt with the girls and drink with the boys. When I came out as as gay man, instead of freaking out and banning me from their lives, he instead took me out to his favorite bar and bought me a beer. He asked, "Do you feel better now?" "Yes, I feel like a piano has been taken off of me", I answered. "Good", he said. Privately, he took longer to adjust to my lifestyle, but never once let me know.
I miss you dad. I miss you more than ever now. Although I should remember the good times more, I can't erase your final night on the earth from my memory. It will haunt me forever. I need my dad. I still have more to ask. More to learn. Do we ever learn enough? How do I fix the sink? How do repair the tile on the floor? I need you to teach me more of the "man" things a boy learns from his father. I will always think of you as I am mowing the lawn. It was you who showed me my first way to mow. The first one to tell me which outdoor chores needed to be done. You taught me to ride a bike. You taught me to pee in the toilet. I am who I am, because of you. And I can't and will never have the opportunity to thank you enough for all you have given me.
RIP Peter Kremers 1944 - 2000
I love you dad.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Monday 8/6/07 - Back in the Saddle Again
After an exercise-enduced weekend combined with Dr. Tom returning to Monday morning coaching, I decided to focus more on swimming again. With the past few weeks motivation somewhat lost, I realized I need a balance of swimming, running, P90X, eating healthy and fun to make me feel good all around. The kitchen remodelling has hampered my diet. The travelling has hampered my swimming and P90X. Its not that I am laying blame, because we all know that if you really want to get something done, you will find a way. Instead I am just stating what has caused my detour!
This week Drew returns and we move forward with almost finishing up our kitchen remodelling. The final cabinets will be installed, the countertops placed, appliances arrive and will be installed and then all that will be left is for us to do the backsplash with Drew's father in September. So YEA! That means for the most part I will have a kitchen after Saturday. This will, in return help me eat better since I can cook again and have countertops!!
SCM Workout This morning:
4 X 200s -
1 - last 50 is fly
2 - 2nd to last 50 is fly
3 - 3rd to last 50 is fly
4 - first 50 is fly
5 Rounds of 2 X 100s
R1 - on 1:30
R2 - on 1:25
R3 - on 1:20
R4 - on 1:15
R5 - on 1:10
400 pull easy
4 X 100s pull on 1:25
Then something after this
The main set was good. Beginning with R3, I took 30 seconds rest in between each round. I went 1:15s on R3. On R4 I went 1:12 and 1:14. On R5 I went 1:07 and then 1:12. It was good to force myself to work these, especially since the times weren't that great, but the effort was there. My pulling I went 1:12s.
This week Drew returns and we move forward with almost finishing up our kitchen remodelling. The final cabinets will be installed, the countertops placed, appliances arrive and will be installed and then all that will be left is for us to do the backsplash with Drew's father in September. So YEA! That means for the most part I will have a kitchen after Saturday. This will, in return help me eat better since I can cook again and have countertops!!
SCM Workout This morning:
4 X 200s -
1 - last 50 is fly
2 - 2nd to last 50 is fly
3 - 3rd to last 50 is fly
4 - first 50 is fly
5 Rounds of 2 X 100s
R1 - on 1:30
R2 - on 1:25
R3 - on 1:20
R4 - on 1:15
R5 - on 1:10
400 pull easy
4 X 100s pull on 1:25
Then something after this
The main set was good. Beginning with R3, I took 30 seconds rest in between each round. I went 1:15s on R3. On R4 I went 1:12 and 1:14. On R5 I went 1:07 and then 1:12. It was good to force myself to work these, especially since the times weren't that great, but the effort was there. My pulling I went 1:12s.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Saturday 8/4/07 - My Own Little 1/2 Ironman
First off, I am normally not this crazy, but I blame all this on Kurt. Scheduled this weekend was the Mission Viejo LCM swim meet. Also scheduled was our 13 mile run on Saturday. I wanted to do both, but at the same time, I really needed a day of no exercising and down time. After discussing with Kurt, we decided that we would just go balls out on Saturday and then leave Sunday for whatever we wanted to do independently. This meant the following:
7am - 13 mile run
11am - 7 events BACK TO BACK. Hardly any rest. We would do the following events in this order: 200 fly, 100 free, 100 back, 200 IM and 50 breast. Then we would follow it with the 4X100 Medley relay (me fly) and the finish with the 4X200 free.
13 MILE RUN
After last weekend's disasterous 17 mile run, I knew I had to make some serious changes. I made sure I drank lots of water the entire week, emphasizing even more on Friday night and Saturday before the run. I also had a decent meal (pasta with a light marinara sauce and some chicken). I went to bed early too. I woke up, had 2 glasses of water, a powerbar and a nutrigrain bar. I also purchased 4 new water bottles for my belt, and these were 10 ounces, instead of my standard 6. And to just go back to normal, I planned on taking GU instead of the cliff shot blocks or jelly beans.
When I arrived at the bluff at 6:45am, I saw the overcast in the sky, which brought a sense of relief. Last week the sun was out in full effect, draining whatever energy I had in my dehydrated body. Today's run I knew would be different. I was ready for the 13 mile deamon.
When we all took off, the stiffness in my legs once again sent signals to my brain asking me why I was doing this. This happens EVERY time I start running. The pain in my lower body just doesn't feel right. Its a mental barrier I need to get over. I know after mile 2 it will be fine, but that is 20+ minutes away, so unless I am up for the challenge, its a long and painful 20 minutes. JC and I took off for our run, watching the faster groups distance themselves from us. I looked at my watch and already saw I was struggling for the 11/mile pacing. "Oh great.. here we go again", I thought. I guess those days of 10:30/mile are all but in my past. After mile 2, my body began warming up and my running felt stronger. I was still just over 11/mile pacing, but whatever. I still had 11 more miles to run, so I didn't want to play any mind games with how slow I was. After reading on the internet about rehydrating every 20 minutes, I decided that with each 10 ounce water bottle (of gatorade) I had, that I would have 1/2 of it (5 oz) completed every 20 minutes. That means I would go through 3 out of the 4, plus 1/2 of the last one. It also meant that whenever needed I could fill up the empties with water.
Around mile 4 JC and I started picking up the pace. We were now going 10:30/mile. The overcast was blocking the sun from zapping our energy and I was loving every minute of it. We kept up the pace for the next 6 miles, and then some. I would randomly check my watch and saw instead of 10:30s, we were ranging anywhere from 9:50s to 10:20s. We reached 6 1/2 miles at 1:10:27. Finally, my old speed I had. If only I would have had this last week. But since last week was well... last week and its this week now, I'm glad I have it now! Around mile 10, JC needed a break and told me to keep on going. I kept the same pace, but didn't see a need to pick it up, although mentally I wanted to. I had to force myself to slow down to 10:20s and try and get as close to 10:30s. That is my pace and I need to keep that. There was no point in picking up the final 2 miles of running. As I saw the finish, I was happy that my energy level was high. I could totally keep up this pace for another 4 miles, and part of me wanted to. "I need more days like this", I thought to myself. As I crossed the 13 mile mark, I stopped my watch at 2:17.27. That meant I was out in 1:10, back in 1:07.
Now off to the pool.
I won't get into too much detail with the meet. My events were tough.
The 200 fly was the worst of them all. Since I haven't been swimming, why I entered a 200 fly, I have no clue. But I had to match Kurt being tough. He was doing it, so I had to do it. I took the first 100 out as easy as I could, but with fly, that is tough to do. Coming in to the first 100, the piano dropped. No way was I going to make it all the way back down and back. In order to not embarrass myself, I went into survival fly mode the third 50. Two swimmers past me and as I came to the wall, my teammates were cheering me on. "Oh fine, I'll go hard again", I said to myself. With only a 50 remaining, I knew I could get out of surivival mode and bring it home. The time was really slow, but hey, no worries.
The 100 free I still felt the 200 fly. I literally took a breath every stroke for the entire two laps. The time was a good workout time when I am in shape.
The 100 back I had no legs. I chose to use only arms the first lap, and legs the 2nd lap. I made it.
The 200 IM has always been a fun race. Although I knew my energy was almost all gone, I wanted to do something decent. I pretty much hadn't eaten since breakfast, but still went for it. It was fun and I had a good time with it. No need to mention times, since that's not what this meet is about.
50 breast felt good and I thought the time was good, but after seeing what Kurt and Ken went, I realized I was slow :-(
4 X 100 medley relay - I did the 100 fly. Take me home now. I am tired. I am hungry. I did the 100 fly.
I'm doing no exercise tomorrow aside from cleaning. Myself and Ally are going down to Irvine Spectrum to meet my mother for PF Changs for lunch and to see Bourne Ultimatum. I'm excited for yummy food and a good movie.
7am - 13 mile run
11am - 7 events BACK TO BACK. Hardly any rest. We would do the following events in this order: 200 fly, 100 free, 100 back, 200 IM and 50 breast. Then we would follow it with the 4X100 Medley relay (me fly) and the finish with the 4X200 free.
13 MILE RUN
After last weekend's disasterous 17 mile run, I knew I had to make some serious changes. I made sure I drank lots of water the entire week, emphasizing even more on Friday night and Saturday before the run. I also had a decent meal (pasta with a light marinara sauce and some chicken). I went to bed early too. I woke up, had 2 glasses of water, a powerbar and a nutrigrain bar. I also purchased 4 new water bottles for my belt, and these were 10 ounces, instead of my standard 6. And to just go back to normal, I planned on taking GU instead of the cliff shot blocks or jelly beans.
When I arrived at the bluff at 6:45am, I saw the overcast in the sky, which brought a sense of relief. Last week the sun was out in full effect, draining whatever energy I had in my dehydrated body. Today's run I knew would be different. I was ready for the 13 mile deamon.
When we all took off, the stiffness in my legs once again sent signals to my brain asking me why I was doing this. This happens EVERY time I start running. The pain in my lower body just doesn't feel right. Its a mental barrier I need to get over. I know after mile 2 it will be fine, but that is 20+ minutes away, so unless I am up for the challenge, its a long and painful 20 minutes. JC and I took off for our run, watching the faster groups distance themselves from us. I looked at my watch and already saw I was struggling for the 11/mile pacing. "Oh great.. here we go again", I thought. I guess those days of 10:30/mile are all but in my past. After mile 2, my body began warming up and my running felt stronger. I was still just over 11/mile pacing, but whatever. I still had 11 more miles to run, so I didn't want to play any mind games with how slow I was. After reading on the internet about rehydrating every 20 minutes, I decided that with each 10 ounce water bottle (of gatorade) I had, that I would have 1/2 of it (5 oz) completed every 20 minutes. That means I would go through 3 out of the 4, plus 1/2 of the last one. It also meant that whenever needed I could fill up the empties with water.
Around mile 4 JC and I started picking up the pace. We were now going 10:30/mile. The overcast was blocking the sun from zapping our energy and I was loving every minute of it. We kept up the pace for the next 6 miles, and then some. I would randomly check my watch and saw instead of 10:30s, we were ranging anywhere from 9:50s to 10:20s. We reached 6 1/2 miles at 1:10:27. Finally, my old speed I had. If only I would have had this last week. But since last week was well... last week and its this week now, I'm glad I have it now! Around mile 10, JC needed a break and told me to keep on going. I kept the same pace, but didn't see a need to pick it up, although mentally I wanted to. I had to force myself to slow down to 10:20s and try and get as close to 10:30s. That is my pace and I need to keep that. There was no point in picking up the final 2 miles of running. As I saw the finish, I was happy that my energy level was high. I could totally keep up this pace for another 4 miles, and part of me wanted to. "I need more days like this", I thought to myself. As I crossed the 13 mile mark, I stopped my watch at 2:17.27. That meant I was out in 1:10, back in 1:07.
Now off to the pool.
I won't get into too much detail with the meet. My events were tough.
The 200 fly was the worst of them all. Since I haven't been swimming, why I entered a 200 fly, I have no clue. But I had to match Kurt being tough. He was doing it, so I had to do it. I took the first 100 out as easy as I could, but with fly, that is tough to do. Coming in to the first 100, the piano dropped. No way was I going to make it all the way back down and back. In order to not embarrass myself, I went into survival fly mode the third 50. Two swimmers past me and as I came to the wall, my teammates were cheering me on. "Oh fine, I'll go hard again", I said to myself. With only a 50 remaining, I knew I could get out of surivival mode and bring it home. The time was really slow, but hey, no worries.
The 100 free I still felt the 200 fly. I literally took a breath every stroke for the entire two laps. The time was a good workout time when I am in shape.
The 100 back I had no legs. I chose to use only arms the first lap, and legs the 2nd lap. I made it.
The 200 IM has always been a fun race. Although I knew my energy was almost all gone, I wanted to do something decent. I pretty much hadn't eaten since breakfast, but still went for it. It was fun and I had a good time with it. No need to mention times, since that's not what this meet is about.
50 breast felt good and I thought the time was good, but after seeing what Kurt and Ken went, I realized I was slow :-(
4 X 100 medley relay - I did the 100 fly. Take me home now. I am tired. I am hungry. I did the 100 fly.
I'm doing no exercise tomorrow aside from cleaning. Myself and Ally are going down to Irvine Spectrum to meet my mother for PF Changs for lunch and to see Bourne Ultimatum. I'm excited for yummy food and a good movie.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Tuesday - Friday 7/31 - 8/3/07 - Lots of mini workouts
Quick recap of the middle of the week.
I took Tuesday off. Work just got too busy and I decided to push my run out until tomorrow.
Swam on Wednesday. Still out of shape, but forced myself to swim so that I wouldn't embarrass myself at the Mission Viejo meet on Sunday. After work I was also able to complete the 6 miles of running which I was happy about, but I ran really slow. Averaged between 11 and 12 min miles, and I don't know why. I am beginning to feel like maybe that is what my speed has become now. Oh well. After the run I realized that I just want to enjoy the running. When that stops, then I stop running.
Thursday morning was P90X with Kurt. We did Chest/Shoulders/Biceps I think. My neck was bothering me, but I was able to get through it. I will put a heating pad on it tonight.
Friday morning was P90X with Kurt again. I only did 20 minutes because my neck really was in pain. I hope its nothing serious.
I took Tuesday off. Work just got too busy and I decided to push my run out until tomorrow.
Swam on Wednesday. Still out of shape, but forced myself to swim so that I wouldn't embarrass myself at the Mission Viejo meet on Sunday. After work I was also able to complete the 6 miles of running which I was happy about, but I ran really slow. Averaged between 11 and 12 min miles, and I don't know why. I am beginning to feel like maybe that is what my speed has become now. Oh well. After the run I realized that I just want to enjoy the running. When that stops, then I stop running.
Thursday morning was P90X with Kurt. We did Chest/Shoulders/Biceps I think. My neck was bothering me, but I was able to get through it. I will put a heating pad on it tonight.
Friday morning was P90X with Kurt again. I only did 20 minutes because my neck really was in pain. I hope its nothing serious.
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